Friday, January 7, 2011

The Anxiety of it All

JD and I have spent the entire first week of the academy in a constant state of apprehension.  There’s always so much stuff to remember… Does he need to wear PT gear or his suit in the morning?  Did he pack his other clothes to change into for the afternoon?  Does he have his books and lunch?  Is there ANYTHING he forgot?  

Everything has to be done a certain way.  He has to make sure he has a pen, but it can’t be any old pen, it has to be the RIGHT pen.  Mess even the smallest thing up, and it could have large consequences.  

Imagine preparing for the biggest day of your life every single evening.  That’s kind of what it feels like.
It’s his academy, but I’m sharing in his anxiety.  On Monday night, I jolted awake hourly, afraid that the alarm hadn’t gone off and he was going to be late.  I’m constantly making checklists in my head, making sure he has everything he needs before he leaves, and asking about a zillion questions.  “Did you remember to label your PT gear?  Do you need this pen?  Am I driving you crazy yet?!” 
Last night, I was sitting in the living room relaxing in front of the TV when I heard him cursing upstairs.  I went to check what was wrong.  He didn’t know where the thumb drive they gave him was, and this is something that has a lot of important info on it.  If they make you hold plank position for 35 minutes over dropping something on the floor, I didn’t want to think what would happen if he couldn’t find this.
I told him to take a deep breath and think of the last place he remembered having it.
“It was in my jacket pocket, but it’s not in there anymore.  It must have fallen out,” he said.  I could tell he was really worried.
I suggested he look in the car, and I went to look in the dryer.  I had freshened his suits with Dryel earlier, and luckily, that’s exactly where it was.
I had to laugh as I said, “You never check your pockets.  You consistently put change, receipts, chapstick, and gum through the wash.  What made you think keeping this vitally important thing in your pocket was a good idea?”
I could tell he was not as amused as I was; he told me that he felt safer having it with him all the time.
“Well, considering you’re running around and doing pushups in your suit, you’d be better off leaving it in your locker instead,” I pointed out.  “I’m afraid it’s going to fall out of your pocket or something.”
Always an adventure :)


  1. It amazes me to read all this and think about the fat, lazy old cops that are all over the place and imagine them doing all this. It must have been REALLY long ago for some of them.

  2. Haha, I know. Whenever he gets a little down, I just say, "Think about some of the officers you've seen. If they can do it, you can do it." Works every time :)