Fears

Now for the scary stuff.  I know very, very little about babies or kids in general.  I did not have  young cousins, my sister is only 3 years younger than me, and the only kids I ever babysat were old enough to talk coherently.  I’ve never changed a diaper in my life.  Plus, our parents live 8+ hours away.  The good news is that we have several friends who’ve had kids, and they’re anxious to share their insight and knowledge.  They’ll be great resources for us as we stumble through the early years of parenthood.

But, there’s the other thoughts that run through your mind.  How are we going to afford  a baby?  I mean, we’re in a good financial position for our age, but babies are expensive.  Have you SEEN the cost of day care?  And JD and I will both continue to work, meaning daycare is a must.  Will we be able to find one that will work with JD’s ever-changing schedule?  We don’t need daycare 5 days a week but most daycares make you pay for a full week at a time, whether you use all days or not.  Is in-home care an option?  Or is the thought of leaving our baby at a stranger’s house too scary?

What if I never sleep again?  I’m one of those people that can’t really function without a full night’s sleep.  What if we have one of those babies that never wants to sleep?  How will I have the energy and willpower to make it through the day?

How will a baby change the dynamic of my relationship with JD?  It seems we have it all figured out now- our marriage and how to make it work and meet each other’s needs.  How to deal with his crazy work schedule and lifestyle.  Then you add this tiny, completely dependent person into the mix and it changes everything.  Will we still have enough time for each other?  Will things continue to be as seemingly-easy as they are now?

And then there are the more vain questions.  Why do the waistbands on maternity pants have to be so scary-looking?  What if my feet swell and never return to their original size and all of my beloved shoes are wasted?!

Don’t get me wrong, we’re both VERY excited.  I know these thoughts are pretty standard for new parents and so many people have told me that “you just figure it out and all the hard stuff is totally worth it.”  I believe that, and I try to block out the bad stuff so I can really savor the joy.  The pregnancy is already flying by and I don’t want to miss a second of it, but everyone once in a while, one of those scary thoughts pops into my head and I think oh crap, we’re really doing this…..