Monday, January 28, 2013

Impatience Pt. 2

JD's eagerness to meet Loralai continues to grow with each passing day. 

"Aren't I supposed to be the one who's miserable and anxious?" I teased him the other day. "Don't you want to enjoy these last few nights where we get a full night's sleep without interruption?" 

He sounded sad when he said, "You've had her with you all the time for the past 9 months. I just want to finally meet her."

And then it all came together. It's not that JD is impatient merely because he's a naturally impatient person, he's impatient because he's anxious to build a relationship with his daughter.  I'd missed the subtleties in his complaints about our lack of ultrasounds (we've only had 2) or the jokes about the creepiness of my belly movements. He was aching for a way to bond with her more deeply.

Pregnancy requires a lot of sacrifice- pain, discomfort, body changes- but it's so worth all of that for the experience of feeling the little person growing and moving inside of you. I tried to keep JD involved as much as possible by telling him about her crazy movements and habits and putting his hand on my belly when she was being particularly active, but I always knew that it would never quite be the same for him as it is for me.

But, this is just one of the reasons I love him so much.  I haven't even seen him interact with her yet, but I already love him for the father I know he'll be. The ache that he feels to hold her, his desire to integrate bottles after 4-6 weeks so he can feed her too, and the fact that he's looking forward to taking a month off to take care of her after my maternity leave is up is all so beautiful to me.

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