Friday, April 26, 2013

Loves of My Life

When you pick the person you’re going to spend your life with, you’re not just picking the person who will be your partner and best friend through the ups and downs, you’re picking the person who’s going to parent and help raise your children.  You don’t always think about that when you’re first settling down.  For the first 6 years of our relationship, it was all about JD and I, and I think we were able to work out all the kinks and build a strong partnership.  I was afraid of what a new person would do to our dynamic, but now that I’ve seen him as a father, I don’t think I have ever loved him more than I have in the past few months.

From waking up with me for feedings in the middle of the night, keeping me calm and wiping my tears when I was sore, tired, and frustrated, and changing almost every diaper, JD was my rock while the baby and I were still stumbling through the first few days of nursing.  But more than just being my partner and support system, I now get to see JD as a father, which is more amazing than I could have imagined.

When we first found out the gender, JD was a little nervous about having a girl.  A former Marine turned police officer who likes to cage fight in his spare time, JD is the definition of a man’s man.  During the second half of the pregnancy, he started to get used to the idea and was more and more excited to have a girl (of course, knowing you  have an entire squad of police officers who will help ensure she never goes on a date… ever… helps).  I heard the emotion in his voice when she finally entered the world and he announced, “She’s here!”   and he’s been absolutely smitten since.

He’s a hands-on dad.  To hear him try to soothe her when she’s fussy during a bath or a diaper change, see how snugly she fits in his big arms, or watch her gaze up at him while he gives her a bottle melts my heart.  Once he went back to work, he was always anxious to return home and cuddle up with her at the end of the day.  Now that the roles are reversed and I’m back at work, he’s fallen into the role of “Mr. Mom” quite nicely.  He sends me pictures during the day of tummy time outside on a blanket, play time on her playmat, or long walks in the stroller.  Last night, when I arrived home from work, she was sleeping soundly against his chest in the Baby Bjorn while he cooked dinner.  (Side note: If he could stay at home forever, I would totally let him.  I love having a stay at home husband).  I have always loved him, but now I love him in a deeper, more profound way.  He is not just my best friend, but he is the most important man in our daughter’s life and he is the father I wanted for her- the father she deserves.

Having a baby has changed my perspective in so many ways.  Things that used to be important to me just aren’t anymore, because my daughter takes up so much of the “important” in my life.  Coming home at the end of the day or a weekend free of work has whole new meaning.  Nothing makes me happier than to come home, give my baby a bath and read her a couple of stories.  I can sit quietly, not doing anything but rocking with her, and not be bored.  She is the love of my life.

Well, they both are.

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