Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Battle

There is a battle raging.  It’s parents, soon-to-be parents, and wanna-be parents vs. non-parents.  Naturally, this battle is all playing out via Facebook, and I’m starting to feel very much in the midst of it all.

Shortly after I found out I was pregnant (but before I was ready to announce it), a Facebook friend (an acquaintance I knew from a few classes in college) posted a status venting about other people celebrating their pregnancies and their children on Facebook.  She admitted that her and her husband had been dealing with fertility issues and complained that others don’t realize how hurtful their statuses can be to someone who is unable to conceive.  My heart breaks for her, because I can’t imagine how difficult that would be… BUT… it’s not like anyone is out there purposefully rubbing her own pregnancy in her face.  I’m allowed to celebrate the fact that I’m pregnant.  It doesn’t mean I’m gloating; it means I’m sharing my personal happiness with my friends and family.  While I do feel bad for her, I resent her for making me feel guilty about sharing my joyful news (when the time came) on Facebook.

Not long after that, I found out about a new app called Unbaby.Me that will automatically cover baby pictures posted by friends with something that you do like, whether it be animals, landscapes, etc.  On one hand, I feel like I should be okay with this one because it kind of falls under the category of “if you don’t want to see it, just hide it.”  On the other hand, I’m kind of offended this app even exists because I don’t understand what’s SO offensive about babies.  Sure, maybe you’re not a kid person and you get tired of seeing people post pictures of their kids over and over, but maybe I hate seeing you post pictures of yourself drunk at the bar over and over.  There’s no app to hide THOSE pictures, is there?

A week or so ago, another Facebook friend (a girl I knew in high school) posted a status complaining about people posting pictures of their ultrasound photos on Facebook by ever-so-eloquently saying, “Since when is it okay to post pictures of your uterus on Facebook?”  She then proceeded to spew out a sarcastic congratulations for “proving to the world that you’ll be squeezing a person out from between your legs in 9 months.”  Uhhh, okay.  I didn’t realize pregnancy was so offensive, or that there was something disturbing or private about an ultrasound photo.  I mean, RELAX, it’s not like I’m posting pictures of the ACTUAL CHILDBIRTH PART.

All of these developments were pretty shocking to me.  I’d always assumed that pregnancy and childbirth were celebrated by everyone, and now it seems like people with babies are practically the enemy.  I understand some people can be over-the-top by only talking about their kids and nothing else, or continually bragging about what makes their kid the BEST EVER, but I don’t understand when it became a bad thing to share pregnancy and baby pics and updates?  My guess is, most of the people who are upset about these things either 1. Don’t want kids or 2. want kids but aren’t in a place in their life where they’re ready for kids and are insecure, so they have to twist things around to make people with kids “the enemy.”

Personally, I LOVE seeing pictures of my friends’ babies so I can watch them grow and change.  I love when people announce pregnancies or births on Facebook, because it allows me to keep in touch with people I might not have otherwise.  My response to all of the people who don’t enjoy these things is the same.  My Facebook profile is my place to share my own thoughts, opinions, and life changes.  I have a lot of friends and family who live far away, and Facebook is a great place to share pictures and updates so that they can feel like they’re still going through the journey with me.  If you don’t like what I or anyone out there is sharing, it’s as simple as removing me from your friends list or hiding me from your news feed (this IS a feature Facebook offers, and is EXTREMELY easy to do).  Same goes for me, I may not agree with your political opinions or your incessant updates about mundane things like what you’re eating, but if I don’t like it, it’s my responsibility to deal with it, or hide it from my view.  NO ONE should have to censor themselves just to please other people, not even people with babies.


1 comment:

  1. I couldn't agree with you more! I get so excited to see my friends post about their pregnancies, or their children's pregnancies. (Yes, friends are having grandchildren) LOL Anyway, I sympathize with the ones who can't get pregnant, but like you said, they can hide anyones status', or if you can't be happy for "Me" & don't want to see my stuff, then delete me from your friends list! I say, keep the pictures & your happiness coming!! I love seeing your sonogram pic's of course your little bitty bump pictures! (Or you if their friendship is important to you, and you know this is upsetting to them right now, it's not that they are not happy for you, it's that they are jealous that it is not happening so easily for them, you can change your selection to hide them from certain status'. I do that with some people on some topics.